Recovering from addiction is one of the toughest things a human being can do. Every part of it is hard. It’s hard to admit that you have a problem to yourself, let alone, anyone else. It’s hard to face your family and friends, some of who will be constantly judging and second-guessing you. It’s hard to take time off of work to go into a treatment facility.
Let’s not even talk about the conversation you have to have with HR. Once you get out, it’s hard to join in at family functions, especially those where adult beverages are normally served. Rather than focusing on how hard this holiday season will be, why not focus on some ways to get through it. Here are a few suggestions that might just make the difference:
Avoid Family Drama
If you’ve spent most of your recovery time in a mental health facility that provided a great deal of peace and relaxation, the last thing you need is to get caught up in the family drama that is featured in most family gatherings around the world.
What you need is a drama-free zone. This DFZ is only as good as your ability to activate it when necessary. When the drama club comes around and tries to suck you into their world, you have to be strong enough to tell than that as a part of your recovery, you have been advised to abstain from participating in these types of family issues.
The important thing is that you take responsibility for your participation, or lack thereof. Your family is not to blame for trying to draw you into their drama. It’s what they do. They mean you no harm. When you can take responsibility for your own DFZ, you will be well on your way to a happy holiday.
Avoid the Troublemakers
Before your recovery, you were probably one of the troublemakers others were told to avoid. Now, you know why. It is not that they are bad people. It is because they are the ones that are most likely to be the smokers, and drinkers, and drug users, and gamblers. They are the ones most likely to draw you right back into the habits you are trying so hard to get over.
Maybe they are able to deal with these vices without any problems. But you can’t. It is not your job to fix them, or force them to change their behavior when you are around. Rather, it is your job to be aware of the kinds of influences that you allow into your circle of friends and confidants. Cultivate relationships with the part of your family that is safe for you. If there really is no group at a gathering that is safe for you to be around, leave, and find some place better to go.
Avoid Being Alone
When it comes to recovery, you can be your own worst enemy. The last thing you want is to be locked in a room with your worst enemy for an extended period of time. What you need is a safe community of people who understand what you are going through, and are willing to be a part of your recovery rather than your relapse. The addictionblog.org has this to say on the matter:
People who relapse can remain stuck in their addiction for some time, because they feel too guilty to admit the truth and ask for more help. But reaching out to others is vital at this stage, because becoming isolated or dwelling in shame will only make another relapse more likely.
The holidays are upon us. Your best chance for a happy one is to avoid family drama, avoid the troublemakers, and above all, avoid being alone.
