(Princeton, NJ, NOV 25, 2025) — Now that you’re retired, or close to it, is it the right time to have that “talk” with your family?
“Discussing your financial information with adult children and other close family members can be uncomfortable for some people, but it’s a talk we recommend,” says Howard Hook, FPC, CPA with EKS Associates in Princeton. “Without it, you leave them in limbo. And while there is no right or wrong way to do it, there are certain guidelines to consider.”
For example:
- If you think you’ll need the financial support of children or other family members in the future, the sooner you tell them the better. There is no shame in this. However, if you wait too long, they won’t be able to plan or budget properly, or help you find the resources you’ll need.
- Conversely, let them know if you’re confident you won’t need their support. If this has been a concern on their part, letting them know this will allow them to focus on their personal financial matters.
- Let them know if you plan on helping them now or after you’re gone. This will provide them with a certain amount of financial security. For example, they may not need to put money away for their children’s college education if they know you’ll be funding it. This may also open up discussions on whether at least some of their inheritance would be better provided while you’re alive rather than after your gone.
- Let them know what you feel they should know about your will and estate planning. If, for example, you helped one child finance graduate school, start a business, or buy a house, you may want to discuss how this affects your will. It’s important to be straight with them now on any decisions you made, rather than have them find out after you’re gone.
- How much you reveal may be determined by your family members. If you have a child who is immature or a spendthrift, and is likely to misuse his or her inheritance, this gives you a chance to explain why you’ve made certain provisions (e.g. a trust to protect their money).
- Put together a list of account number and other information they will need in order to manage your affairs after your gone. Introduce them to your financial advisor and/or estate attorney and let them know where and how they will be able to access your information. Let them know any key passwords.
- Let them know if you have a plan in place for your long-term care. This may range from your preference in terms of care to whether you have long-term care insurance that will pay some or most of their costs. After all, there is no way to know what health situations lie down the road.
- Have that talk before it’s too late. Many people have plans to discuss their financial information with family members, but keep putting it off. Don’t wait for an emergency or tragedy.
According to Mr. Hook, many people are hesitant to discuss actual numbers with their family. While that may be helpful in certain circumstances, all of the above conversations, he says, can be had without divulging specific numbers. “Don’t let that concern stop you from having that talk.”
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